Picture the scene with me: Christmas day, 2000, a snowy, cold Salt Lake City duplex. 2 Fire trucks outside, a few police officers, a burnt out living room smoldering with the remains of our possessions. A barefoot, pajama-clad Jeffrey and Emily sit in a firetruck, wondering if the cats made it out alive, wondering where we'll sleep tonight, wondering what's next.
"they think there's a meth lab and a grow house in the basement, we're calling Hazmat"
That would be the SLC cop who decided that my beer brewing supplies and jalepeno pepper plants were much more nefarious than they were.
Thankfully saner heads prevailed and Hazmat was not called out.
I thought that was just something you see in paranoid, isolated, ignorant Salt Lake City. I was wrong, Kirkland has the same problem.
Last spring I decided to invest money in www.chefbyrequest.com (I highly recommend their food, it is both healthy and tasty). They deliver food to my door every night so that I have good meals for the day. One of my neighbors decided that wasn't food in that bag, it was drugs!!!
Rather than talk to us, they called the Kirkland police. I don't know what the police thought of staking out our house all night and then following the dark-skinned delivery man back to his evil lair, only to discover that the cooking going on there wasn't meth, but seared tenderloin with mushroom sauce and Santa Fe vegetables. But maybe they were amused.
I hope someone was.
When we returned to our old house today to see how the cleaners did, we discovered this note on the door. Apparently our (extremely nice) landlords have been warned: let in druggies like those two again and you will pay.
The brave note-leaver and cop-caller couldn't be bothered to identify themselves (we might "whack" them) but they sure were going to make sure no disreputable types like us ever invade their neighborhood again! No longer will my running and biking through their hallowed streets be an offense (damn you triathlon training that has me up before dawn...)! No longer will my BMW offend their eyes and ears with its mockery of their boring cars.
Out damn spot!
So they can get back to ignoring their drug-using kids and get back to spying on each other.
The Mormons would be proud.
One word: fanfuckingtastic. Sometimes you wish natural selection would be more proactive.
Of course, one random, mean-spirited letter from an ignorant douchebag, shouldn't leave you with a sour taste in your mouth for an entire town as cool as Kirkland. Assholes abound.
It's true, Sean: I'm being a bit harsh and applying the idiot behavior of one xenophobe to a whole city. I think, based on our past experiences, MLE and I are a bit over-sensitive on the subject of false accusations by bored suburbanites.
Still, it makes for a great story! ;)
Hey Jeffrey - we wondered what had happened to you guys. One day you were there, the next the house appeared empty. At any rate, I've been trying to find a way to let you know that there's been a package on your doorstep for some time now. Forgive my checking the name...just wasn't sure what to do about it! Actually, there were two at one point... not sure what happened to the other one. Lori
@Lori. Thanks for finding us! The Gregorians were going to move back into the house but something happened and their deal fell through. We're still in Kirkland, I'll swing by and see if the package(s) are still there.